Shop More Submit  Join Login
Modern Aphrodite WIP by mynti

:iconmemod:
Phew, seems like my internet is working for a few moments, so I'll quickly write your critique :D Not that there would be so much to critique. I like that there is more discernible stuff in the mid- and background now. It compresses the space a little, making the image look less open, but personally that does not really bother me. Maybe though, if you want to imply the shore over there, then also add some cliffs and more trees...and don't make the trees be right on the shore, because there the water would quickly drag away the sand and the tree would...fall D:
That also makes me think...so far I always thought she is standing at the sea shore.. so salt water and trees... but I dunno, maybe I'm being too nitpicky about that. Because visually I'm the last one to say anything against trees :lol:
What that faint structure is, I don't know, but it certainly raises my interest. Which is good, methinks. But if you can play that up some more and make clear what it is.
At this point there are mainly two things that bother me a little. The biggest one being, that the water looks a bit like it's bending and curving down, rather than being a (more or less) flat surface, like it naturally is. The reason for that is probably the waves, I think you need to make them come more from one direction, and especially farther away from the shore all we would see is some rather horizontal, thin lines of foam. That would also bring back some scale into the picture and help to push back the opposite shore.
The second thing is, that I am not entiiiirely sure of the composition. The girl borders a bit on the centre line with her left side, and with the inclusion of the other shore, it feels like there is not enough breathing room on the left. But I'm not really sure about this, I am thinking that part of the reason why I feel like that is because of the warping problem with the water. When that is solved, it should feel like there is enough space on the left again, I think.
Lastly, not a critique, but maybe include some sort of boat or distant ship? More and more I feel like the girl is waiting for something, it would be cool to suggest what she waits for :heart:

Ack, already my net konked out, I hope it will work for a second to send this off :D

Anyhow, I'm liking this, the subtlety of the image is really quite lovely :aww: Well done, so far! :heart:

Dancakes
The Artist thought this was FAIR
21 out of 23 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconmynti:
mynti Featured By Owner May 31, 2009  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much dancakies! Without a reference I fear I am going crazy with the water. You're right, as always, thank you :D :giggle: I will certainly make it less silly lookin.. :lol:

As for the composition, I think it leads you around.. but I can extend it down and to the left.. this would keep it square but push her out of the centre line of the composition...

The structure in the back will be bigger on big prints :D But of course you may see details anytime, my friend..

As for the boat idea... I'm not sure dancakies :D How about an airship instead? This is a modern city of the gods, basically, and Aphrodite is being born on the shore.. :D she is not waiting! She is arriving! :giggle:
Reply
:iconmemod:
memod Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2009  Professional
:giggle: Haha, I was actually looking for a link to details, but alas, there was none :lol: but yeah, if you can avoid this tension with the centre line, I think this will be easier on the eyes.

And hey, you know me...I just had to suggest a boat! If I don't suggest a boat, rock or tree, you know something is not right with me :giggle:
But okies, if she just arrived, then maybe she's just marvelling at the surrounding! :giggle: Works for me! :lol:
Reply
:iconmynti:
mynti Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2009  Professional General Artist
I will send you details later :eyes: And ask for the water, I've already made it a river now (which helps with the tree bit, too)

And I've extended it, I think it's looking much better... I'll try to catch you sometime soonish for another critique if you don't mind :heart:

:glomp:
Reply
:iconmemod:
memod Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2009  Professional
:no: nope, no more critiques.

:giggle: Of course I don't mind :lol: the question is only, if my internet will last me long enough to finish typing up a critique :lol:

river sounds good! sweeeet water :#1: Haha my sketch yesterday I extended like three times...looks so silly with the original frame drawn with pen around it :paranoid:
Reply
:iconmynti:
mynti Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Professional General Artist
:giggle: Next time, draw the frame in pencil. That has a tendency of coming up easier. :D
Reply
:iconmemod:
memod Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Professional
Eh, who cares anyway :D I'll just draw the whole thing again or so :giggle: The ideas improve with every sketch :w00t:
Reply
Add a Comment: